Torn Hearts and Shattered Trusts
by SoaringDragon
Summary: Kurama finally confesses his love to Hiei, but the fire demon doesn't take it as well as hoped. Kurama begins to suffer as their friendship slowly dissipates, but another problem comes forth; what exactly does Yomi have in mind? Yaoi Shonen-ai (Fixed 1)
1. Chapter I

A/N: So this is my first fic (please don't be turned off by that, lol), and I hope you will read and review. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I find myself lacking one or two good beta-readers, so if you're interested, please contact me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, although I wish I did. I also do not own any of the songs that appear at the beginnings of the chapters.

Note: This is a yaoi/shonen-ai fic, meaning it does have male/male relationships. If you don't like that, then please do not continue reading. This fic, however, will not contain a lemon or any explicit descriptions of sex. Quite frankly, I'd get too embarrassed writing it to include one.

* * *

_It's about time that I came clean with you_

_I'm no longer fine and far from running smooth_

_I thought that I found myself onto something new_

_One more line I repeat over and over again_

'_Til I'm blue in the face with a choking regret_

_As I talk in circles 'round you on my bed_

_Can't say I blamed you one bit when you kept it all inside_

_When you left that night_

----Blue in the Face, Alkaline Trio

-

-----

Kurama sat at his desk, idly tapping his pencil while surveying the mass of papers that lay in front of him. He brushed over them with his eyes, barely registering all the formulas and notes that had been hurriedly scribbled down onto them. He absentmindedly started chewing on the eraser of his pencil, but immediately grimaced at the bitter taste and removed it. He sighed and dropped the pencil back onto his desk. Folding his hands behind his head and leaning back, he stared at his ceiling; his mind just wasn't on his homework tonight. It was, in fact, preoccupied with the expected arrival of a certain fire koorime. Getting bored with waiting, he leaned forward and rested his chin on the desk, staring forlornly at the wall. He grinned, despite his rapidly beating heart, when he finally sensed the ki of the other demon.

"Have you finally decided to give up on your stupid ningen practice of this 'schoolwork,'" the smaller demon said, scoffing. Kurama just turned and smiled at him calmly, which belied was how he really was feeling at the moment.

"Hiei, it's a pleasure to see you, too." Hiei smirked. "And no, I have not given up on schoolwork, I just felt like taking a break." Hiei just moved to Kurama's bed and settled on it, sitting Indian-style with his arms crossed across his chest, his back resting against the wall, and his eyes closed lazily.

Kurama was never one to waste any opportunity he was given, and he did not miss this time to glance over his friend's body, from the black pants and white tank top he was wearing, which showed off his muscled arms quite nicely, Kurama noted absently, up to his adorable and flawless face, and to his spiky black hair, which, upon accidentally touching it one time, Kurama found to be surprisingly soft. The object of Kurama's gaze, feeling he was being watched, opened his eyes, revealing crimson irises. Unfortunately, Kurama had much less time to admire those.

"What are you staring at, kitsune?" Kurama was pulled quickly out of his musing and he smiled broadly, waving his hand in the air as if to dismiss the question.

"Oh, nothing, just got lost in thought."

"Hn," came the fire-demon's only reply, as he closed his eyes again, this time being more aware of the fox's actions.

"Hiei?" One eye opened lazily to focus on Kurama.

"What?"

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat maybe?" Hiei was a bit surprised (albeit it didn't show in his features) by Kurama's tone, normally it was confident and casual, and to the untrained ear, it would still seem to be, but to someone like Hiei, who had been around Kurama as much as he, Kurama's voice held a little something different, almost… pleading. Hiei couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"No."

"Oh…"

Hiei's eyes opened again as he felt the bed sink slightly as another weight was added onto it as Kurama sat down beside him. He waited for the fox to speak, but Kurama simply pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them. They sat like that for several minutes, Kurama with his head resting on his knees, staring forward, not saying anything, and Hiei sitting there in the same position he had been since he had arrived, watching Kurama out of the corner of his eye. With each passing second, the koorime grew more and more irritated; Kurama was acting much different from his normal cool and confident self, and Hiei wanted to know why.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kitsune?" Emerald eyes blinked at him. Kurama looked like he had been startled out of deep thought, and the idea of the fox not even paying attention to him irked the smaller demon.

"What do you mean Hiei? I'm fine."

"Like hell you are fox, you've been acting strange since I got here." Kurama gave Hiei a strange look, one he wasn't able to describe. It held a mix of strange emotions, and Hiei never was one to care too much about emotions, especially human ones.

"Look, is this some sort of weird ningen thing? If so, then I'm leaving till you're better." Kurama had to hold back a wry grin.

'_This isn't something that will just get better and go away, Hiei… although sometimes I wish it would so that I wouldn't have to deal with all these damn emotions and feelings_.'

Seeing that the object of some of his inner turmoil was preparing to leave, Kurama sighed and decided that if he was going to do this, he might as well do it now and get it over with.

"No Hiei, please don't leave… I-I need to talk to you… It's about something important." His curiosity and interest roused, Hiei sat back down. Kurama, however, stood up and started pacing the room quickly, seeming very distracted and frantic in his thoughts. Hiei frowned, he didn't like waiting.

"Spit it out fox, I have places to go and things to do." Kurama looked at him for a moment, then took in a deep breath, and sat back down, very close to his companion; so close, in fact, that they were just barely touching.

Kurama turned to face his friend and placed his hands on Hiei's shoulder's, grasping them firmly. Hiei had to fight the urge to flinch away from the touch and the person sitting so close to him, it wasn't exactly the contact that made him uncomfortable, it was the look that was in those shining emerald eyes that scared, no, nothing scared Hiei, that made him feel unprotected and exposed, and he didn't like that feeling at all.

"Hiei, I need you to please let me say everything I have to say before you interrupt or leave." Hiei's eyes narrowed.

"Fine." Kurama nodded and continued.

"Hiei, when we started working as Rekai Tantei for the Rekai with Yusuke, you and I were already rather close, at least, for demons, I guess. But as we continued to work together I began to manifest…feelings for you. At first I thought it was just a simple crush, or maybe even that some part of me was lusting after you. I dismissed these thoughts as a passing fancy and thought they would go away after a while. But I was wrong, as more time passed, the feelings only grew stronger and stronger until one day, I knew, I just knew. It wasn't a crush, at least not anymore. What I'm trying to say is well… the truth is… I-I-I love you!"


	2. Chapter II

Um yeah, I'll try to update as soon as possible, but I'm currently doing soccer with 3 different teams, so my schedule is a bit tied up. I'm glad you like it so far, though. Thanks for reviewing! And I can't decide which song to use for the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, although I wish I did. I also do not own any of the songs that appear at the beginnings of the chapters.

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_We're glistening like silver spoons_

_Beneath the summer night_

_Oh can you smell the subtle hints of frost_

_As the flowers start to cry_

_The autumn winds are bringing graves_

_To all the emerald trees_

_They're so beautiful in their dismay_

_The colors slowly bleed_

---Martini Kisses, Senses Fail

-----

---"Hiei, when we started working as Rekai Tantei for the Rekai with Yusuke, you and I were already rather close, at least, for demons, I guess. But as we continued to work together I began to manifest…feelings for you. At first I thought it was just a simple crush, or maybe even that some part of me was lusting after you. I dismissed these thoughts as a passing fancy and thought they would go away after a while. But I was wrong, as more time passed, the feelings only grew stronger and stronger until one day, I knew, I just knew. It wasn't a crush, at least not anymore. What I'm trying to say is well… the truth is… I-I-I love you!"---

-----

Kurama practically shouted the last part, and by this time his eyes were closed; he didn't wish to see Hiei's reaction while he was talking. He expected a reply, and upon receiving none, he slowly opened his eyes, wondering if the fire demon had taken off without a word. But no, the little koorime was still sitting right in front of him, with the oddest expression Kurama had ever seen on him. Hiei's mouth was hanging slightly ajar, and his crimson eyes were rather wide. Kurama waited still for an answer, some kind of signal that his friend had heard. But there was still no intimation that the message had even gotten through, save for the expression. And while Kurama did relish seeing something different than the demon's normal stoic exterior, he was getting a little worried with the lack of a response. Deciding to reiterate his point, he leaned forward quickly and kissed the smaller demon. That got a reaction.

This time Hiei really did flinch away at the contact, and even more, punched at the other as hard as he could, connecting solidly with the fox's chest and successfully knocking him back. Before Kurama knew it, the koorime was at the window, almost panting in anger. Kurama was practically frightened by the look he saw in the other's eyes; they were filled with such unspeakable anger and confusion.

"You-You…" Hiei said, pointing at Kurama. He shook his head and glared at Kurama with such fury that Kurama was sure he would unleash the Kokoryuuha and destroy him then and there, which Kurama half-heartedly hoped he would. But he didn't.

"Never. Ever. Touch. Me. Again. I had thought you were at least somewhat better than the rest of these pathetic ningens, but I was wrong; you're just as susceptible to their weaknesses as any one of them-" his tirade was interrupted by a plea for Kurama.

"Hiei, please! Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. We can just forget this and go back to the way it was before. Please Hiei," Kurama cried desperately, but before Hiei even responded, he knew what the reply would be, judging from the fire-demon's expression.

"No, nothing will ever be the same. You never should have revealed this weakness, never should have claimed that you 'loved' me." He practically spat the word "love," as if even the mere mention of it repulsed him, which it did appear to. "Kurama, I once thought of you as a partner, almost an equal… but now… you're just another one of those damn pathetic ningens." With that, he leapt from the windowsill, becoming just a black blur in the trees, quickly disappearing into the dark night.

With a cry of anguish, the fox collapsed backwards onto his bed, with his arms covering his face.

'_Well what the hell did you think would happen? He's a full–blooded demon after all. I'm lucky that he didn't kill me then and there. Yeah, lucky, that's it,' _Kurama thought cynically, '_I mean after all what did I expect, him to confess his undying love for me in return? To take me in his arms and kiss me like I wanted to kiss him? Yes,'_ said a tiny voice in his head, '_that was what you were expecting, hoping for. You may have told yourself that he could never feel the same, but deep down, you didn't doubt that he shared your feelings. You were so certain.'_ Kurama smirked. '_Looks like I was wrong.'_

To Kurama, the situation was almost laughable, at least in a sick, twisted kind of way. He would have, in fact, let loose the scornful laugh that was building inside him, if it wasn't for the excruciating pain that enveloped his heart. Moving his hand to his chest, a sick grin lit his face; the place where Hiei had punched him had been right on the heart.

_Kinda fitting_, he thought to himself.

It was only then that he noticed that there was something hot and moist on his cheeks. Moving his hand to his face, he found that the moisture was seeping from his eyes. He was crying. Kurama was actually crying. Now he really did laugh, but it was a painful laugh, a laugh of a broken man, and to simply hear it could nearly break a person's heart. Soon, though, the laugh turned into a gasping sob as more and more tears ran down his cheeks. He turned over onto his side and pulled his blankets around him tightly, and cried until he had cried himself to sleep.

---

Knock, Knock, Knock

Kurama groaned at the insistent noise that kept repeating in his head. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he realized that the noise was not coming from his head, but from at his door.

"Shuuichi? Are you getting ready? You need to be at school in less than half an hour."

Kurama suppressed a groan. For some reason he felt horrible, but he couldn't remember why.

'_Why do I feel like th-oh.' _Now he remembered why he felt so miserable.

For a moment he hoped that it had just been some twisted nightmare, but judging from the way his heart felt like it had been ripped out of his chest, stabbed with a sharp object many times, then returned, he knew it wasn't.

'_Why? Why did I have to tell him? I'm such an idiot. I should have- I should have known how he would react!_' He struggled to dam the tears that once again threatened to overflow from his green eyes. The knocking at his door continued, and he stood up to open his door to acknowledge his mother.

When Shiori saw her son she failed to hold back a slight gasp. The person who greeted her was not her normal fresh-faced, cheery, and handsome son, but a boy with mussed hair, swollen and red eyes, unkempt clothes, and just an all-around ragged appearance.

"Shuuichi! What happened to you? You look ill!" Kurama managed to give his human mother a weak grin.

"I'm just not feeling well today, kaasan. I think I might have contracted a virus. I hear there's one going around right now," Kurama smoothly lied, "I don't know that I'll be able to attend school today, unless you wish me to."

"Oh my! My poor dear! No, of course you don't have to go to school. I'll look into getting you some medicine. Is there anything I can do for you, would you like some soup perhaps? Or maybe tea?" Kurama shook his head.

"No thank you, kaasan, I think I just need some rest, if you please." Without bothering to wait for a response, he closed his door and made his way back to his bed, where he promptly collapsed and pulled his covers up around him. He knew the way he had just shut out his mother was rude, but he didn't really have the heart to care. He was also aware of how pathetic he was acting.

'_Look at yourself. How weak. Moping around like any other ningen. Just imagine what Hiei would think. But it doesn't matter, because Hiei hates you now, because you're a wretched fool. He was right to run.'_

He drifted off into a blessedly dreamless sleep, not waking up when his mother slipped in to deliver a bowl of soup and leave, nor did he wake up from the frequent clangor of the phone ringing. In fact, he slept through the entire day and the night.

Kurama squinted as the morning sunlight shone through his window and hit his eyes. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up in his bed, sheets sliding down off of his torso. He stretched and looked at his alarm. 8:25. School would start in five minutes. Every inch of him just wanted to fall back down into his warm bed, but despite all his pains, the old Kurama in him wouldn't allow himself to lie around moping for too long.

He stood up and made his way down to the kitchen, where his mother sat, reading a newspaper. She looked up as he entered, and smiled at him.

"How are you feeling today, Shuuichi?" He gave her a small smile.

"Much better today," he lied. "Do you think you would be able to sign me in to school late today? I am feeling up to going, I just doubt I'll be able to get ready in five minutes." His human mother smiled at him, and although wondering at his incredibly fast recovery, agreed.

"Of course, you take as long as you need. I'll take you when you're ready to go." Kurama nodded gratefully and went back upstairs. He may not exactly want to go to school, but at least it would take his mind off of what happened.

'_Hiei…'_ He shook his head emphatically, trying to physically rid himself of those thoughts. He didn't want to think about the small fire demon.

He reached his bathroom and entered, taking time to notice his reflection. His eyes were still slightly red, but not nearly as bad as before. His hair was still mangled, that would take a thorough conditioning and combing to re-tame. As for the rest, a shower and a fresh set of clothes was all that could help. He turned on the hot water, and as the shower started to steam, he shed his clothes and stepped in.

The hot water felt good as it washed over him, and he tried to let it wash his thoughts away, as well as any intimation of his previous condition. As he reached for the shampoo, his hand knocked the razor, and he carelessly grabbed it as it fell, cutting his hand in the process. He lifted his hand and stared at the small stream of crimson that was trickling from the cut. He looked at the razor for a moment, thoughtful. He shook his head strongly to rid himself of any wayward thoughts and quickly put the razor down and finished showering.

Once he had gotten himself dried and dressed in a clean uniform, he made his way down the stairs, to where his mother was waiting for him.

-----

Kurama leaned back in his chair and sighed. He couldn't focus on his schoolwork at all. His gaze kept drifting to the window beside his desk, and to the tree that sat outside of it. Before, he would occasionally sense Hiei's presence in that tree. Sometimes the fire demon would allow himself to be clearly seen, at least by Kurama, other times he would remain out of sight. But not anymore…

"Mr. Minamino!" Kurama blinked as he recognized that it was his name was being called.

"Sir?" He said, looking at the stout teacher that was standing in front of him, bearing a not-very-pleased expression.

"Perhaps you would like to join us today, Mr. Minamino."

"Oh, of course, gomen," said Kurama.

"Mr. Karanta, Shuuichi was sick yesterday with some sort of virus, he was asleep all day yesterday recovering, I'm sure he isn't feeling too well today either, so that's why he's having trouble paying attention," said one girl that sat near him. Several of the other girls in the class nodded in agreement and sympathy.

Kurama found that he was slightly disturbed. '_How do they know that? I didn't tell them that I was sick. What did they do, call my mother?'_

The teacher simply "hmphed," and continued with the lesson.

-----

The rest of the school day passed by without incident, and Kurama found himself walking home alone. He sensed a familiar presence coming closer, and put on his normal happy façade.

"Botan, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?" The blue-haired ferry girl smiled broadly at him.

"Guess what, Kurama! We've been assigned another mission!"


End file.
